How to set boundaries with family during the Holidays
Sometimes family – though well-meaning – aren’t the people who provide the most or best support. Sometimes family are the people you need to place boundaries around for your own mental health. This is completely valid and okay! Especially during the holidays (make sure to check out my Mental Health & Self-Care During the Holidays thoughts). So, if you’re one of these people, what do you then do about spending time with your family during the holidays? First, you need to set boundaries. I know, this sounds super easy, but how do you do it? Take breaks! Family interactions can quickly become overwhelming, and giving yourself permission to take breaks is key. Go for a walk, Mind a quiet place to recharge. Articulate your boundaries to your family so they know what you are and are not comfortable with. Check out The Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban for good tips, scripts, and insight on this. Focus on positive interactions – seek them out, and spend time with those who are of the same mind. Create a support system to surround you. This can include friends, groups, or a life coach (like me!), and also set realistic expectations. Your family will not change overnight, or during one holiday season. You can avoid disappointment or frustration by better managing your intentions and reactions. Engage in activities you enjoy – reading, listening to your favorite music, engaging in a hobby, and overall prioritizing activities that nourish your wellbeing. If family traditions contribute to your stress, then create your own new ones. Whether a solo activity or something you do with friends who feel like family, making fresh memories can transform the holiday for you. And also – this is important – learn to say no. It’s completely okay to decline invitations or requests you’re uncomfortable with. It’s a form of self-advocacy which protects your mental and emotional wellbeing. Lastly, reMlect on the holidays afterward. What went well, and what could use improvement? Use this information to reMine your self-care strategies for future occasions – my life scripts are ideal for these scenarios, even after the fact. Self-care is a continuous process, and it’s healthy to prioritize your own wellbeing during challenging family dynamics. Would you like to go deeper? I have time on my calendar for your discovery call to get started.
Mental Health & Self-Care during the holidays
The holidays are coming…and that can mean seasonal depression or anxiety. The darker, dreary days influence some of it, with seasonal affected disorder (appropriately, SAD). When there’s less natural light, we don’t receive as much Vitamin D which dampens our mood. For this one, I’ll talk about how to see to your own mental health during the holidays – and stay tuned for my second blog post this month where I’ll begin to talk about how to thrive through the holidays if you have toxic family members. Okay, now take a deep breath…and again…and again. You need to master your mind game. Identify the emotions you’re feeling, as well as any huge life changes you went through recently. These are the transitions which I coach people through. Next, hear me on this: the holidays don’t have to be perfect! Focus on the things and people who bring you joy, and don’t engage with those who don’t. Beyond that, here are a few tips: 1. Plan ahead! Know what your triggers are or where you struggle. If it’s meal planning, then maybe 8ind a delivery service or buy ready-to-cook options. If it’s too much alone time, schedule activities with friends. Go into the holidays with the right preparation. 2. Reach out for support! If there’s one takeaway from this, I’d love for it to be don’t go it alone. Let friends and family – whoever is safe for you – know what’s going on, what you struggle with, and tell them to check in on you. But be proactive too and get in the habit of talking with a few people. 3. Create new traditions! If old traditions are painful, then try some new things. Holidays don’t have to involve doing the exact same things, especially if they aren’t giving you the happiness or celebratory feeling they should. 4. Get professional guidance! An experienced coach (like me) can walk you through these challenges and give action strategies (like my life scripts) that will enable you to reach your goals. I think one of the key things to remember is that life includes change – you can’t stop it, and you can’t get away from it. Make your goal to enjoy the holidays, as opposed to simply enduring them with an anxious mind. If the holidays are a source of stress for you, let’s talk! Book your discovery call with me to get started.
