Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. With either forming or maintaining relationships, it’s important to always remember that in order to support your relationship in the best way, you have to make sure you are at your best self. For example, can you go to the gym and do a workout to better your body if you have a cold? Of course not! Stay home, drink tea with honey, and let your body heal before jumping back into the ring.
When I think of healthy relationships, it’s based on a drama triangle that can come from work, school, home, social events, and other avenues on a global scale. In this triangle, there are 3 roles: The Victim, The Prosecutor, and The Rescuer/Hero. Sometimes, a person can play 1, 2, or all 3 roles, which depends solely on the dynamics of the relationship. Let’s break it down further:
The Victim — an individual stance of ‘poor me,’ or at least has a regular tendency to offer excuses before choosing to find/create a solution.
The Persecutor — an individual who creates strict boundaries. Their commentary typically includes blaming and criticizing either the Victim, the Rescuer/Hero, or both.
The Rescuer — an individual who feels guilty if they don’t step in to help the Victim.
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are an essential component of having a positive relationship. Make it a priority to establish healthy boundaries. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you have, how long you’ve known each other, no matter how close you are. You need to have boundaries set. For example, Use Knowledge From Your Past When Creating Relationship Boundaries In The Present. Next, express Your Feelings Clearly And Confidently. The more upfront you are, the more clarity your relationship will have going forward.
Knowing the Difference Between Empathy and Dependency
When another person is having an emotional experience, empathy allows us to hold space. In this capacity, we can be fully present and listen. But with codependency, we lack the ability to regulate our emotions: When someone comes to us needing support, we cannot hold space.
How to Structure Healthy Boundaries
First, know that boundaries exist in every aspect of your life.You can set boundaries around:
- Emotional energy
- Time
- Personal space
- Sexuality
- Morals and ethics
- Material possessions and finances
- Social media
By putting these practices into place, you will achieve a healthier, happier relationship. And with a happier relationship, comes a happier you.
Before you go, this is a book that is a must read–it’s your new bible–The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free: Book by Melissa Hartwig Urban. You will thank me later.
Do you struggle with maintaining a healthy drama triangle or establish strong boundaries? Contact me today to see how I can help.
