Ah, the holidays. Cue the twinkling lights, the endless commercials of happy families around a perfect table, and the overwhelming sense that you’re supposed to feel something magical. Except…what if you don’t? What if instead of warm and fuzzy, it feels heavy, stressful, or downright hard?
Let’s cut through the fluff: the holidays can be tough—especially if you’re caring for a loved one or navigating your own personal challenges. Maybe you’re juggling the never-ending to-do list with caregiving. Maybe you’re grieving a loss, managing family drama, or just plain exhausted. Sound familiar?
Here’s the deal: the holidays aren’t all glitter and mistletoe. And that’s okay. Let’s talk about the good, the bad, and why this season can be so damn hard.
The Good
There are beautiful moments, even when life feels overwhelming. A smile from a loved one. A quiet cup of coffee before the chaos kicks in. A memory of better days that makes you laugh instead of cry.
But here’s the kicker—you have to look for them. The good stuff doesn’t usually slap you in the face. It’s in the little moments that often get buried under the stress. My mom, who was battling cancer, once tried to help me decorate the tree while chemo had her barely able to stand. She couldn’t stop giggling every time she dropped an ornament. That’s the memory I hold on to—not the mess, the exhaustion, or the heartache.
The Bad
Let’s be real—there’s plenty of that too. Caregiving doesn’t hit pause because it’s the holidays. The tension of making everyone happy, figuring out who’s bringing the damn mashed potatoes, or dealing with Uncle Bob’s unsolicited life advice can push anyone over the edge. Add grief or burnout to the mix, and it’s no wonder you feel like hiding under the covers.
The truth? You’re not alone. So many people are silently struggling this time of year, even if their Instagram feed says otherwise.
The “Why Is This So Hard?”
Because life is messy, and the holidays have a way of shining a spotlight on that mess. They bring up expectations—both our own and others’. We think we should be happy, have it together, and make everything perfect. Spoiler alert: nobody does.
The holidays also highlight what’s missing. Loved ones we’ve lost, relationships that aren’t what we wish they were, or the time we just don’t have. And if you’re caring for someone, the guilt of not doing enough can be crushing.
So What Can You Do About It?
Here are some no-BS tips to survive (and maybe even enjoy) the season:
- Drop the “Perfect” Act.
Nobody’s holidays are as perfect as they seem. Stop trying to make everything just right. Good enough is good enough. - Prioritize Like a Boss.
You can’t do it all, so don’t try. Pick the things that truly matter and let go of the rest. Yes, that includes skipping the 12 kinds of cookies this year. - Set Boundaries, Guilt-Free.
It’s okay to say no. No to that party you’re dreading. No to hosting if it’s too much. And definitely no to opinions about how you “should” do things. - Find the Joy in Small Things.
Joy doesn’t have to be big or loud. It’s in the silly traditions, the smell of cookies baking, or a quiet moment to breathe. - Lean on Your People.
Ask for help. Share the load. Vent to someone who gets it. You don’t have to do this alone. - Take Care of YOU.
Even if it’s five minutes a day. A quick walk, blasting your favorite song, or locking yourself in the bathroom for some peace—whatever works. - Give Yourself Grace.
You’re doing the best you can in a tough situation. That’s enough.
The Bottom Line
The holidays aren’t about perfection—they’re about connection. And that includes connecting with yourself. Whether this season is joyful, difficult, or a messy mix of both, know that you’re not alone.
So, take a deep breath. Pour yourself a cup of something warm. And remember: the holidays don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be yours.
If you’re looking for more support through this season, I’m here. I get it, because I’ve been there too. Let’s navigate this together. 💛
